Please forgive any grammatical errors as this was written in a very emotional state.
If you’ve looked at my social media or messaged me within the past week you know that last week one of my best friends from pharmacy school passed away unexpectedly. After 9 years of friendship where we shared food, drinks, long conversations, movie dates, secrets, opinions, memes, texts, emails, graduation, and other important life events, it was an utter shock to learn that I wouldn’t get to hug him again. My condolences to his family and girlfriend–I know they are still trying to process this.
Just like his loved ones, sometimes it isn’t horrible and then there are moments of terror, longing, and panic that wash over me. Somewhat predictable such as in the mornings when I wake up and hope it was all just an extremely realistic dream and it isn’t the case or in the evening right before trying to fall asleep. Somewhat unpredictable: in the middle of typing a work email, while drinking some coffee, or even while driving. This is a post that will keep growing with anecdotes and memories of Rafa. Maybe this will help us with our grief and maybe it won’t but I want to make sure that these memories of him are somewhere to be found. These are numbered for organizational purposes but do not relate to level of importance.
- Rafa and only one other friend have been through my worst relationship moments with me. After moving to Ohio and after a really bad breakup I would call Rafa in despair and he would always listen and talk with me–remind me that the best is yet to come–and calm my angst. It was never too late or too early or too much of the same. He was always patient.
- Rafa loved his family deeply. He often spoke about how he admired his mother for raising him and his sister and being a strong woman that carried on despite life circumstances. He often spoke about how proud he was of his father and his passion or teaching mathematics. And of course, he absolutely cherished his little sister Sofia. He talked about how proud she was of her and how smart and beautiful she was and how he just wanted to make sure she was always taken care of. He talked about going to Costco with her was something he always looked forward to. He talked about how he once spent considerable time with her while she was editing HGTV house hunter video footage.
- He told me about his girlfriend, Maggie, and how she was very smart and he knew she would one day be the boss of a company (CNO or CEO) and how he admired her. But she was OCD–and I remember making a comment to him that he needed someone direct, smart , disciplined. His response was to chuckle.
- I miss our Taco Tuesday meet ups at copper lounge where we always bought an unreasonable amount of tacos. I miss sitting in our corner booth and staying until 1 am on a weeknight just chatting. I regret not taking the time to meet up with him after copper lounge was remodeled–I would have liked to know what he thought of the new decor.
- I miss sitting on his large modular couch, along with Tre, and eating food picked up from Taqueria Mexico, and watching Parks and Recreation on his new TV (he was so proud of his TV).
- I used to make too much food for myself (mainly Mac n cheese) and take it to Rafa and watch old SNL when he was house sitting.
- We started going to Geeks Who Drinks at Oneill’s in Nob Hill on Wednesday nights when we were in pharmacy school. All people were invited however I made it a rule that Rafa had to be on my team to ensure we would not be last. We would almost always get green Chile cheese fries as an appetizer. This caught on quick and to this day it is popular amongst pharmacy students.
- He loved Parks and Rec. His favorite characters were April Ludgate and Jean-Ralphio.
- Jean-Ralphio quotes:
- “The judge gave me two ankle bracelets. Said it was the first time he ever had to do that. Ja boy’s a question on the bar exam!”
- “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I got run over by a Lexus.”
- “She’s the woooooo-orst!”
- April Ludate
- Jean-Ralphio quotes:
TO BE CONTINUED–If ANYONE would like to add anything please contact me to add or feel free to comment! ❤
Joyperks 