The holidays are coming up….and in NM we are told to shelter in place for 2 weeks (but it might be longer). Only essential businesses are allowed to be open and that means that people are only allowed to be out and about to perform essential tasks starting today. #thankscovid But, seriously, stay home. Wear your mask to protect others. And don’t be a dummy. Don’t hang out with other people who don’t live with you!

This is my post where I talk about this issue I have with the holidays and how I find it really hard to accept gifts. I started reading blogs and following instagram accounts about saving money and getting rid of stuff and it has made me even more of a grinch. I don’t want stuff usually, I want shared experiences, and adventures, and adult beverages and carbs without weight gain and to be able to laugh and smile and enjoy company with people I love.

My husband tells me that I am a grinch and it is true! I am starting to loathe holidays because gift receiving is absolutely not my skill. If I ever have kids I will be that parent that throws out 90% of the art projects their kid makes. #sorrynotsorry

Here are my reasons!

• The older I get the more having more stuff creates anxiety for me!
• I thrive by getting rid of stuff that I no longer love or find useful enough (thanks Marie Kondo!). My husband resents that I am constantly picking up random stuff and asking if he needs it, when he last used it and if I can donate it/trash it.
• I watch too many shows like The Home Edit, Marie Kondo, and the car detailing/home cleaning videos on Instagram. Many gifted things /items eventually become clutter….and I want to let them go because I don’t love them.
• My husband tells me that gift giving is all about making the giver feel better about themselves and not usually about the gift receiver. Which I agree with, mostly! Why am I nice to people? Why do I give people stuff? Why do I donate to charity? First, to make me feel better, then maybe to help others feel/do better.
• I have finite space. Yes, we have a home with multiple closets, but still we have finite space for storage. I want to save that space for things I really really love and need.
• We haven’t even used all of the gadgets and things we were given from our wedding (which was more than 3 years ago!).
• If I want something it usually is priced at a point where I would find it absurd to ask most people to purchase it for me.
• Also a gift can be uncomfortably personal (there are maybe a handful people that can ask my underwear/pant/dress/shirt size and I will respond to them without even thinking anything weird about it.) Note to all people reading this–if you don’t feel comfortable enough to ask the person directly for their clothing size–then you don’t need to get them whatever that is. Ok, I’m sure by now I have made some enemies.
• For clothes and what not, my design/style evolve over time. So something that I maybe loved last year might not be something I love this year.
• If I want something I usually buy it or plan to buy it already.
• I am generally strategic in purchases and plan for it at times (things will be sitting in my online shopping cart, especially Amazon, for ages before I buy it, if I do)–and the only one who usually knows I am planning on buying it is my husband/super close friends that I annoy with my constant texts and memes.
• I love practicality! I know what I want and when I want it. I am finally at that adulting stage where I have most things I need and replace things when they need to be replaced. I even have a permanent basket for donation/giveaway items in my closet.
• I am so practical I would totally be ok if the world switched from actual gift giving to just people transferring each other money titled “happy [insert holiday/occasion here] here is money for a prescription copay/car payment/your lunch tomorrow/that fancy running bra you need to get/oil change/your doctor’s appointment copay/that charity you like/your gym membership/things that keep you happy and healthy/your yoga class”.
• My love language is acts of service not gifts. Mop floors, cook dinner for me, wash my sheets, and I am so excited and grateful and thankful! Because that means I get free time to chill/write blog posts/nap.
• I have everything I want or a specific plan for home/home decor, beauty, clothing….I generally have a vision for everything.
• I grew up in a poor household…it led to a very eclectic home. Most things came from garage sales and thrift stores and donations…nothing really matched or was a set. There was not enough room for everything to fit right or to spend on organization. My dad’s projects turned into hoarder status (when the dirt front and dirt back yard end up looking like a junk yard that is really sad and doesn’t make you feel good). Knick knacks and extra stuff generally give me that same feeling of being stuck in that situation/hoarder type environment. It is not pleasant.
• Well meaning people love love love to give me scented products (which I can’t really use…but thanks to allergy shots I am getting better at not sneezing at everything that is not fragrance free) or things that I would never ever use. But again, they don’t know that! And I don’t know how to tell them.
• After graduating and finally earning a salary I went a little crazy buying stuff…retail therapy (I still do retail therapy but with the one thing in one thing out rule). For me, accumulating stuff at some point stopped being a positive feeling and became a monster that turned into massive anxiety.

Anyways, even if you are a grinch, people will get you stuff (unless you are a really strategic grinch!). So what can you do? Accept the fact that gift giving is in every culture and will never go away. You can accept the gift and THANK THEM SO MUCH because they made the effort and that in itself shows they care enough about you to try. They invested in time and money to show you how much they love you.

And then after that, you do whatever you want with it, it is yours! So that means you can use it, donate it, toss it (though I only recommend this if it can’t be donated), sell it.

Like and subscribe (can you tell I’ve been watching too much YouTube by this ending?). I would love to hear your take on gift giving/gift receiving.